Brett Farrey

Steve Hannah calls it a good thing, but good for who? The simple fact is, the Onion has sold out.

From: Steve Hannah
To: Onion Nation
Re: Print Update

Some months ago I reported that we had embarked on a mission—contrary to what the rest of the world might think—to expand our print editions. This would mean finding partners to manage the business side (ad sales, printing and distribution) in our eight existing markets (10 if you count Minneapolis and St. Paul, Denver and Boulder as separate places) as well as recruiting new media companies/franchisees in places where The Onion has never appeared in print.

Right after we finished all the necessary paperwork and legal run-up, we were approached by The Chicago Tribune. They wanted to take over the business side of The Onion in Chicago. It was a mutually beneficial deal. We signed the contract in June and they took over the business side of the operation in July. So far it has gone off without a hitch and ad sales have increased.

Earlier this week we announced similar deals with the Austin American Statesman to run the Austin edition, and The Wisconsin State Journal to take over the business end of Madison. I should note—loudly—that in every deal we retain complete and final control over content, both with regards to The Onion’s comedy and The A.V. Club’s pop culture reporting.

This afternoon we signed a deal with The Denver Post to run our Denver-Boulder business and—because they own The St. Paul Pioneer Press as well—our Twin Cities edition.

In addition to conversations regarding our existing cities, we have ongoing discussions with at least a half dozen additional media companies interested in bringing The Onion to markets where we’ve never circulated in print. I am optimistic that we will close some of these deals and expand our print empire!

The deals make sense. We are, first and foremost, a content company. Under these arrangements, we get to do what we do best—produce first-rate comedy and pop culture content. Meanwhile, our new partners get to leverage their longtime advertising relationships with a new product—one that attracts an audience that is young and smart and tough to reach for mainstream newspapers—while expanding their print portfolios.

I hasten to add that, in each deal we’ve done, our new partners have been eager to hire our existing sales staffs. They realize that, while they have advantages in their neighborhoods that we don’t have (they own printing presses, buy ink by the barrel and paper by the ton), selling The Onion well has a lot to do with understanding the brand. Our people possess that brand awareness and can hit the ground running.

This is good news. There will be more to come in the months ahead. I will keep you apprised.

–
Steve Hannah
President and CEO
The Onion – America’s Finest News Source
312.676.6432
shannah@theonion.com

Related:
Area publisher cuts Onion deal
More newspaper companies partner with The Onion
How The Onion Will Sell Out

I have surgery tomorrow to have a disc replacement done between my c5-c6 vertebrae. They’re going to be removing the disc, and replacing it with this this….

There are two metal pieces, each one screws into a vertebrae, and the pieces that going in the spot of the old disc have a ball and socket. It’s a pretty ingenious little device. They say I shouldn’t loose any range of motion, and I should be back to normal in a few weeks. The doctor said one of his patients actually ran a marathon about 4 weeks after the surgery, which I don’t plan on doing.

They plan on keeping me overnight to monitor me, which is normal for this type of surgery, but I’m hoping to be back to work on either Monday or Tuesday. Technology rocks!

My wife and I were driving around looking at different neighborhoods and houses for sale, when we came across this rubber ducky car. I’ve seen it a couple of different times around town, so I snapped a photo with my HTC EVO.

I love Star Wars, so spoofs like this just crack me up. This is one of the better ones I’ve seen, so I thought I’d share…

For more information, including some behind the scenes photos, check out their blog post….

http://improveverywhere.com/2010/07/14/star-wars-subway-car/

I chatted yesterday with a real estate agent who was having an open in our building yesterday. It was actually the unit below us. He told us the unit is selling for $105k, and the sellers bought it for $145k. The unit is just like ours, except they have the view of a rock wall, which is by far the worst view of any condo in our building. The owners moved out months ago, so I’m assuming they really just want to get rid of this thing as soon as possible. I get it, but I really wonder if they can afford to sell at such a low price. If it doesn’t sell, I wouldn’t be surprised to see a foreclosure. I’m also concerned how all of this will affect the value of the rest our condo’s units.

We have our unit listed at $5k below what we paid for it, and it’s probably about $20k higher than the average person has for our layout in our two buildings. The problem is these other units aren’t getting anymore showings than we are, so we’ve decided not to drop our price anymore. We simply refuse to go in the red on this, so we’ll probably end up taking our condo off the market for a few years. At that point, we’ll see if the market is any better and try to sell it again. If not, we may refinance, and then rent it out. Either way, we’ll need to find a new place to live with more space.

This isn’t our condo association, but this is our situation…
Condo owners make the best of a tough situation

Related:
These Cards Suck
City Data

I’ve been working on putting a new band together for about a year now, and it’s finally coming together! Mike Cammilleri and I started trying out guitarists and drummers this past December, and then eventually singers. I think we’ve ended up with a really nice group of musicians….

Alexis – Vocals
Mike Cammilleri – Keyboards/Organ
Joe Niesen – Guitar
Chris Sandoval – Drums
Me – Bass

We’ve all played in a bands, except for maybe Alexis. She and Mike know each other from playing the UW marching band. She would sometimes sing at Badger games, so Mike already knew she had some good vocal chords. I met Mike when I was playing with Marcus King and Thee Royalty, but he’s also played with The Kissers and has his own organ trio called King Cruiser. I met Chris last Summer jamming at Madison Music Foundry, and he has a ton of experience playing with groups like Tommy Castro, Cold Blood, The Tubes, and the list goes on forever. Joe used to play guitar in Adam Isaac and the People, but I’ve know him since the early SWS days….funky as hell!

For now, we’ve been learning a bunch of funky covers, but the plan is to switch gears and start writing originals. We’re hoping to be playing out in a couple of months. Oh, if you have any ideas for a band name, post a comment!

I always wanted a toy AT-AT when I was kid, but never got one. Thankfully, I had plenty of other Star Wars gear to keep me happy. I thought this was a pretty awesome video using of stop motion….

Making of AT-AT day afternoon

I love using the self checkout, but there are some unwritten rules when using it:

1. No Cash Allowed. I just about lose my mind when some old lady starts pulling out cash, or worse, her coin purse. Seriously? Oh no, is she pulling out coupons too???

2. 10 Items or Less. I personally try to limit the number of items to 10 items or less. If someone pulls up with a big cart full of stuff, they should be kicked out of the store with a lifetime ban for stupidity.

3. Express Checkout. It normally doesn’t say it’s an express checkout, but the ONLY reason people use self checkout is to save time. If you have items that you need to lookup, for example produce, keep moving on down to the regular checkout.

It’s really hard to believe I used to like the Black Eyed Peas. I would recommend them to friends and bought at least two of their albums, but that was before they sold out. I first got turned onto them after Smokin’ with Superman played a show in Chicago and someone in the crowd told me that we reminded him of the Black Eyed Peas. I ended up going out and buying their album, “Bridging the Gap”. Loved it! I nice crossover album that mixed hip hop, funk, jazz, and other genres.

I liked this album, but the irony of this song today is hilarious….

I liked enough that I bought their new album, Elephunk, a few years later. I enjoyed it, and I was kind of digging on their new female singer, but they were starting to scare me with some of the radio friendly songs; like Hey Mama and Let’s Get Retarded, which ended up being renamed so they could sell the crap out of it.

I actually liked this song…

I still liked them since I couldn’t blame them for making radio friendly songs, yet, for the most part, stuck to their roots. They would play shows with an actual band, and from what I’ve heard, put on a good show.

Their next album, “Monkey Business”, was total garbage. I thankfully hadn’t bought the album yet when I friend of mine warned me not to buy it. He told me to check out the song, “My Humps“, which happens to be one of the worst songs ever created. First, Fergie should never ever rap. I was embarrassed for her and the rest of the band. Second, their genre just went from a crossover hip hop band to dance music you’d hear in a dirty small town dance club. It was official, the Black Eyed Peas had officially sold out to the record industry. I’m guessing they liked the money they made from Elephunk, and were willing to do anything to make more.

Total suck….

Over the next few years, their suckdom continued to grow, which included a horrific solo effort by Fergie. I just found out they played on American Idol, and they stunk it up pretty good. They keep saying, “I wanna rock right now”, but they don’t do anything but suck.

I wanna suck right now…

Who keeps buying their crappy auto-tuned albums? You need to stop!

Related:
The Black Eyed Peas “Give Back” with Embarrassing Idol Performance
Black Eyed Peas Have Officially Written The Worst Song Ever
The Black Eyed Peas Suck!

I watched Cadillac Records the other night and I absolutely love it. It was great to see them do a movie about that Chicago blues scene. It was truly a magical time.

In this tale of sex, violence, race, and rock and roll in 1950s Chicago, “Cadillac Records” follows the exciting but turbulent lives of some of America’s musical legends, including Muddy Waters, Leonard Chess, Little Walter, Howlin’ Wolf, Etta James and Chuck Berry.

It was a great movie except one little thing. Beyonce. I think she did a decent job at acting, but her singing was awful compared to Etta James. When Beyonce started singing “At Last”, I just couldn’t stand it. Once she entered the movie, I had a hard time concentrating because I was so irritated with her awful singing. Beyonce may have a decent voice for pop/r&b songs for the MTV crowd, but people who actually love music realize she is no Etta James.

Etta James

Beyonce

Beyonce didn’t sing out of key or anything horribly bad, but her voice has no soul. She’s an average R&B singer trying to mimic the great Etta James. It doesn’t surprise me Etta doesn’t like Beyonce.

Related Links:
Cadillac Records Trailer
Etta James to Beyonce: I’ll Whoop Your Ass!